This conversation is making me nauseous

I'm fairly certain that someone in this episode quoted Will Smith. Maybe I am the only one who associates him with Miami and welcoming people. The kids head down to Miami but Allie is left behind to have a sexy photo shoot with some dude. blah, blah, blah. (She is starting to look like a junkie.) She and Erin have a big conversation before they leave for Florida about how Adam deserves to be a little jealous. And then the guy invites her for a drink after (a beer or a Snapple). She hesitates just long enough to get a call from Erin to tell her that they are at a club and Adam is surrounded by ladies. Suffice it to say she puts on her ratty looking fur coat and goes out for a Snapple. When Adam gets back Allie makes a big show of saying that the guy asked her out but didn't actually say that she went out for a drink. She kept it really hypothetical and tells Adam she is looking for her own place. Maybe she slept with the guy.
They all look good in their swimsuits so that works out well. We are also introduced to a lady Aussie who used to live with Jay (I think in a platonic way) who has some really gnarly teeth. One might question whether they have orthodontia available in Australia. She makes Jay sound a little sketchy and untrustworthy. Jay runs into Dani, his ex. He makes a big scene about how he doesn't care, enjoys a pleasant conversation with her and then she blasts Whitney with a lot of extraneous/awkward information. Jay then does a lot of post meet up justifying to Whitney back in New York. Whitney is then convinced that he is trying to hide something with all of his honesty. Confusing. Here is the real problem. I just don't care that much. I mean if someone who watches the show, is trying to invest themselves in the characters, and blogs about it each week doesn't really care, MTV is probably in trouble here.

First Runner up for possible post title, "I smell a little ahi tuna...somethings fishy."


Here is the real big news of the week. My favorite Canadians are back on the scene with a The City aftershow. That is right Jessie and Dan are back to tell us all about the haps, use the telestrator, don strange clothing, and their always witty insight. They give us great previews of things to come. They have Whitney and Erin on the show. I was so excited to see them I forgot to be jealous that I am not the person hosting the aftershow at my house. The best part was a preview of the next season of the Hills.

Season Five:
Heidi crashes LC's birthday.
Spencer is hitting on a pretty lady bartender.
Stephanie Pratt's boyfriend tells on Spencer.
Spencer punches Stephanie's boyfriend in his face.
Heidi is missing LC "My favorite stories are my stories with you, My favorite memories are my memories with you." (Sorry Spencer.)
Spencer goes to Brody for help.
Has hell frozen over. Things are converging. Also Heidi has too much collagen in her lips. She is starting to freak me out.

Still no new Gossip Girl. Come on.

I can't not live my life

Here it is friends the season finale of the Hills. Let me set the scene for you. Picture Heidi speaking with a coworker and her boss. They are planning a big function and debriefing about vacation. "What did you do on vacation?" "I kinda decided to get married." Stunned silence followed by a disapproving "Shut up," from the boss. Not the way you pictured announcing your wedding. She was trying to keep it apologetic and nonchalant "yeah we had a couple of margaritas...it was the craziest thing I've ever done." Meanwhile Lo and LC are getting their hair did for a big event the same event that Heidi and her company are working on. Will they cross paths? If the producers have anything to say about it of course. Justin Bobby and Audrina are off on a trip. Justin dressed up; shirt with no sleeves and overalls. He turns on the charm and pops a bottle of champagne which they both drink out of. Who needs to dirty a glass? I hate to use the term white trash but it comes to mind. (I can't decided who is trashier.)

The rest of the episode will deal with the fall out from the Heidi/Spencer nuptials. The most brutal time was when her mom was crying and Heidi was trying to justify it. "She can't not live her life"...what? At this point she can still save herself from the evil that is Spencer because just as I had predicted it wasn't legal. They have to take it to city hall. Get this. Spencer waits until they are mid vow, at the courthouse, to call it off. He knew that Heidi was not happy and heeded the advice of Heidi's mom and Stephanie. So Spencer and Heidi are not really married. Audrina and JB have a DTR where he pulls a ring off his finger (with his mouth)and gives it to her. First let me say gross. It made me feel dirty when he did it. What does it mean? Are they engaged? I am confused. I think it means they are going steady. When LC and Heidi meet up at the event it is awkward and a little sad. LC wants her to be happy. Heidi manages an unconvincing "yeah, I'm happy," before tearing up. Not as bad as it could have been. It was kind of nice.
The Voice of Reason in this episode: Stephanie Pratt. "You can't do this." She then tries to talk them out of marrying in the courthouse in front of a judge and a police man.
(Note. I had to control myself because this season finale was so full I wanted to give every detail of it)


The Hills Aftershow...they let those Canadians, with their strange 'hip' outfits, into the U.S. for this one. Clarifications (or things I learned on the aftershow):
1)The ring from JB to Audrina is a token of affection for a "friend."
2)Whitney is dressed as a woodland nymph (crazy flower crown in the winter), is "the new Carrie Bradshaw" according to Page Six, and gives a preview of The City. I am so excited...I can't wait for next week.
3)Lauren announced that the Hills will continue this spring. I know we are all breathing a sigh of relief.
4)Those Canadians and Speidi took a tequila shot. Weird and nauseating (you know me and tequila). They become so drunk the Canadians then ask for a Truman show type Spencer vehicle. Who would watch that? (Probably me, who am I kidding.)
5)Lo will never share her relationships with the Hills' audience.
6)Pussy Cat Dolls (they performed) are looking thin and sort of talented, as usual (I will see them in April with Britney).

Buckle up baby

I recently watched the episode of Hills titled "Mr. and Mrs. Pratt." If I had to pick one word to describe it I would say...ridiculous. Although I am not sure that this one word does justice to it. In this episode we (the audience) and the gang (Lo, LC, and Audrina) said goodbye to Whitney. Okay the gang really just said goodbye we get to see her soon in The City. (I can't wait) I am also over all of the tears in the goodbye. This is probably because I am slightly cold and unfeeling but LC was a bit much for me. The real excitement however are the moments leading up to the alleged nuptials of Speidi (I hate that combo name stuff but you know who I am talking about). There was a lot of tequila before the proposal and who doesn't want to marry someone that makes you want to be nicer and that you want to keep from the whole world. I believe Spencer promised that they would keep it secret. Was that before or after US weekly was involved? Most disgusting moment...hmmm...probably when Heidi drunkenly said she would show Spencer "what a wife does" before theystumble off to allegedly marry. (I mean I kind of respect her. Tequila is the architect of my misfortune and I would have vomited just smelling the stuff.) However, I am still skeptical as they never actually show the wedding ceremony only the aftermath. What bride doesn't say I am so hung over 1 hour after their wedding ceremony? Good thing they had a little toast, hair of the dog style. One last comment on that; the rings are hideous. Leather strap with a dangly thing hanging off, yuck. Now they will have to wear that for the next 11 months that their marriage lasts. Look for next week when Spencer and Heidi need to legalize the wedding at City Hall. Will she soberly do it? Voice of reason in this episode: Justin Bobby who wanted to post a sign to find Heidi. I like the idea.
The Hills Aftershow provided the usual insight, teleprompter work, and strange clothes from strange Canadian hosts. The best and most promising...Bromance coming on the 29th. What genius gave a show to Brody? Give them a raise.