THE FINALE- I can't believe this is really goodbye.

Today, my friends, is a sad day for the world. The Hills will not continue. This is it.
Here is what has been happening over the last few episodes. Kristin Cavalari is now the central figure in the Hills cast. This entire season has made me long for the days of LC. (whose literary masterpiece I will be reading poolside next week on my Hawaiian vacation). Lo has been more involved, she and Stacy the Bartender (who may no longer be a bartender) move the plot along by asking questions of the more interesting characters at lunches and in bars. They help the viewers to understand the inner feelings and motivations of characters. (I realize I am giving them a lot of credit here. I don't need to hear them say it, they are motivated by fame and immediate gratification, but it is still helpful.) Lo has been dating a boy, Scott, who asks her to move in with him. Stephanie Pratt seems quite rational and responsible (this is not a sarcastic statement), since her DUI, she no longer drinks and is mourning the loss of communication with her crazy brother and sister-in-law. She is looking to find a guy who is okay with the fact that she isn't going to drink and party. Hard to find in LA? Spencer and Heidi have been sporadically on the show. Spencer is totally nuts and loves him some crystals. His spiritual advisor, or the like, has told him the crystals will help him to stay calm, but he has been having some serious rage issues. Heidi has totally cut off her family and looks no longer human.
Audrina has been dating Ryan Cabrera, a musical star (okay he is a musician) but Justin Bobby is still around. JB had a briefly dated Kristin but that didn't work out. She went back to being friends with benefits with Brody. Brody continues to be a source of entertainment and fun on the show. He has a lot of fun dudes (Sleazy T, Frankie, and Charlie) for the girls to hang with and a parade of girlfriends for Kristin to be jealous with and yell at (head shaking back and forth and pointing). The trips this year included a boat outing for Audrina's birthday, a trip to Vegas, and a Costa Rica trip.
Up to Finale there is a red carpet and the most annoying VJ ever. She makes everyone feel really awkward, especially me. The real questions I have as this show begins is about the appearance of Heidi and Spencer will I get one last glimpse of them? They aren't at the red carpet. I guess I will have to buy a tabloid magazine.

On the Finale:
We need to understand that the girls are growing up and moving on. The show begins with a discussion about the mid-twenties life crisis. Lo wants to get married and make babies. Stephanie is really happy. Audrina wants to find herself without a man and Kristin is heartbroken. What can she do to make a change and grow?
Go to Europe of course. (I am quite perplexed by this solution.) She has a really awkward conversation to invite Brody to her going away party. Brody refuses to go and support her going away but shows up in the end. They have a sad tearful goodbye but seem to end on a high note. He also comes again to send her off to the airport. He feels responsible for sending her away. Stephanie is in love with a motocross racer named Josh and they seem really cute together. They make a cute couple and even have a DTR (define the relationship). Lo's boyfriend essentially proposes to her but without the ring. And Audrina moves out of Hollywood and to the beach.
The final thirty seconds is a montage of the girls with pictures of them today and in the past. Then back to Brody staring at the car as Kristin drives away. Then the scenery behind is pushed away to reveal a TV set in the background. What does it all mean? Was it all a lie? Wow! Thanks for blowing my mind MTV.

The best part of the whole evening was the return of the aftershow ( I love those Canadians. What will happen to them? What kind of a job will they get next. Will they get deported back to Canada? I don't hear anyone talking about closing that border or building a fence.)
Other highlights included Justin Bobby and Audrina together one last time, Jessie (Canadian hostess) in a very strange green cutaway dress, and Holly and Stephanie sharing information about Spencer and Heidi. There was also a sad video montage of her before Spencer. Neither sister knew whether or not the rumors about Heidi and Spencer divorcing are true. I totally forgot how they disappeared from the show. Remember how Heidi accused the producer of sexually harassing her. Some snooping around on the TMZ website told me that perhaps they are divorcing/legally separating and that Heidi might have a reality show in the works with Jen Bunney. Kristin and Brody together one more time talking about how happy they are about the ending. And then finally LC. She was proud of her experience on the Hills and all that she learned. I also learned that she has published 4 books, who knew. She is adorable and lovely as ever. The after show wrapped it up with one last montage and a picture in picture of the cast and crew giving hugs ( I really liked this.)

I am now going to indulge in some reminiscing of my own. How strange to think that I have been watching this show for the last 6 seasons (four years). That is quite a commitment on my part. However, I am glad that it is coming to a close now as I am closing in on my thirties. It is probably time for me to stop watching MTV and who knows if I will even have it when I move.

Here is a special treat for sticking with this long post. From NY Magazine: Where will they be in 50 years! What genius came up with this idea?

I'll always be that guy towards you (Is this some kind of a threat? You never can tell with Justin Bobby.)

The Hills



I might have missed an episode but trust me all you missed was Brody's birthday. Jayde pissed at Brody as usual. Kristin waiting for Justin Bobby and missing him but vowing not putting up with him. Oh, and Audrina is trying to get back at Justin by dating his friend. Take that.

Poor Lo she has to be friends with Kristin so that the viewers can understand what has gone on. What an unfortunate life she has.

Kristin goes back to Laguna to tell her dad and step mom about her life. Dad's review of Brody is that he is self-obsessed. How could someone that is has been on four reality tv shows be a narcissist?

At a Bolthouse promotion (wait they still employ Heidi?) Holly, Charlie, Heidi, Stephanie, and Spencer (sporting his faux cowboy gear) attend. Holly is hammered and drunkenly dancing and analyzing art (to Brent Bolthouse, he looks less than amused). Her dancing is radical.

She was out of control and Stephanie is really concerned. Every time they go out someone asks them to leave.

Justin Bobby, who has apparently been out of town, makes a meal to apologize to Kristin. They spend a lot of time talking about how much they don't want to be in relationships with each other and then head off camera to hook up.

Audrina continues to ruin dates by talking about Justin Bobby. Relationship advice:It makes it clear that you are not over someone when you talk about them and then lamely lie that you are over them.



Holly is lured to an intervention by Heidi and Spencer. She immediately orders a marg with Petron. Spencer is very reasonable, he suggests that she should not have a dance off in front of people she may want to network with. (My husband suggested that she actually lost the dance off...with herself. It was pretty bad dancing.)

Brody and Kristin have a little heart to heart about her feelings for Justin while Justin goes to meet Audrina for a drink at a secluded bar. She just wants to make sure that things are not weird between them. Justin seems to be kind sad. He is mad that Audrina has been dating his friend but doesn't get why she is acting this way trying to hurt him. He would never be able to say that "anything is better than Audrina Patridge, ever in my life." What is going on?

The City


Also missed an episode of the City. Joe was impressed with Olivia but Erin still hates her. Whitney does the opposite of what Kelly Cutrone says and gets bitched at. Her first mistake was to listen to Roxy her second mistake was to take sketches and a dream to Bergdorfs. Did she damage her career as a designer?

On to this weeks episode.

Sammy invites Whitney (and not Roxy) to a party with lifeguards. Will Whitney find a new love interest? She meets 21 year old dudes who look like real nerds. Tomorrow Whitney will be attending a bbq at her exes. (What was his name? Oh yeah Jay.) She was invited by Adam and Alex (remember them). He won't be there but she is going to bring one of the surfers. The surfer brings her brother, Freddie Frackelmayer. He is a fox. (Pardon the illiteration.) He totally looks like a wealthy dude from Connecticut and is in commercial real estate. I like him. Whitney is attracted to him but is concerned there is something going on between him and Sammy. Roxy advises her to date him anyway, although she gives terrible advice, I would go on a date with Foxxie Freddie Frackelmayer, too.



Roxy is on a date and complaining about how no one invites her. She also volunteers to stay late at work so Whitney can go out and have fun. I think she is angling to take over Whitney's job.

Erin has to chaperone Olivia at an Elle party and hates it. She meets the hostess and is a hit. She knows everyone. Erin is clearly annoyed by her popularity and leaves early. She seems to be in a foul mood when she leaves. She and Olivia then have a terribly uncomfortable cubicle conversation. Erin wants her not to have some respect for her. She has been doing this for four years and just because Olivia knows some designers she hasn't earned it. (Where are the exclusives?)

Without trust your lost :Life Lessons from Lily Bass Humphry

Rufus getting married
At the beginning of the episode:
Serena and Lily are on the outs but she is in love with Carter. Carter is working hard to collect money from outstanding debts.

Lily and Rufus are not getting along.

Dan is in love with Olivia but avoiding Georgina. Georgina goes psycho at the thought of him seeing someone else.

Vanessa is pining away for Scott and hating keeping his secret. When Georgina returns all hell breaks loose. She blackmails Vanessa but this backfires and she finally tells. He makes a lame attempt to trick Georgina and she is not fooled.

Bree and Nate are in love. Bree is hunting for Carter and will do anything to use her family's hatred for him to get back in good with his fam.

Lily and Rufus reconcile with a little help from the kids. They are all set to get married finally. They are going to do it at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens planned by Serena, Blair, Jenny and the new mean girls both Jenny's and Blair's. The wedding is going to be lovely and wonderful but Georgina brings back Scott and tries to ruin their wedding. They call it off and Bree Buckley captures Carter Basin. Carter, it turns out, is the fiance who ran out on Bree's cousin at the alter after using her money to pay off his debt.

In the end Rufus and Lily go to find Scott and get married. They have a happy little family reunion and a guest appearance from Sonic Youth (not looking too youthful these days I might add).


Enough about Eve


This episode is full of Deception.


Serena tries to win Carter Basin back from the Buckleys in a high stakes poker game. She got into the game through Nate who is really just using Serena to leak a fake photo of his cousin to the Buckleys. He is trying to make the Buckleys look bad and get Trip elected. Serena is none too pleased when she learns the truth and goes back to PJ Buckley(who is described as a JR Ewing and rocks a popped polo shirt collar) and settles the debt. Carter is saved by Serena but he wants to pay off the debt to earn her respect.

Blair is so sneaky. I love it. She works so hard to get to give some special toast at NYU. She even uses Chuck and makes him kiss an alum (he is trying to Kiss Chuck as some kind of scavenger hunt). She is vying for the toastmistress position against Olivia(The Duff) and Vanessa.


Vanessa is also willing to do just about anything to give the toast(to impress her judgemental parents- they have a militant stance against private education, knowledge should be free) including lying to Olivia and Dan and tricking Blair into telling everyone just what she thinks of them (and Chuck the truth of what happened). She also is exposed for the liar she is when Dan and Olivia realize they have been duped. She also says in front of her mom that she wishes for different parents. Her mom is not impressed and asks her to consider what she has become.

In the end Blair and Vanessa are disillusioned and slightly ruined. Is Blair going to have to become a good person? She has to go and grovel for forgiveness. Are Blair and Chuck over? Will Vanessa have to become a bad person. Her mom is definitely judging her. Or stranger still will Vanessa and Blair become friends. Weird.



XOXO

I am little bit concerned...We just don't have enough

Roxie's first day. They do a photo shoot for some Jeans. Roxie has to drive Kelly Cutrone's Ford through the city. Kelly is less than pleased with their performance. They forgot the clips that they were asked to bring. Roxie comes up with a good idea to improve the shoot. What if the model took her top off?(I get the feeling that is what Roxie might do.) Whitney tells her to ask Kelly first but she doesn't. Kelly will later say this is a good idea but is pissed that she went over her head to the designer.

Sammy, the buyer from Bergdorfs is back, to let Whitney tell her story. She helps Whitney to realize that she will need to be a little more forceful and stand up for herself.

Olivia is sent on an assignment to buy knockoffs. Joe Zee at Elle hates impostor merchandise. It is a crime. Olivia is really good at buying the knockoffs. She is bossy enough to make it work. Olivia does a pretty good job with purses but doesn't get enough stuff to make Erin happy. I don't think she ever gave Olivia a chance. Don't get me wrong I don't really like Olivia but honestly Erin is making her much more likable because she is so terrible.

I don't really like anyone on this show either.

I think you are the only person I haven't gotten in a fight with, who I first met

Stacie the bartender and Kristin are besties because they are both bitches (their words not mine) and the producers told them to be. (Dee and I are friends because we both know what it is like to have people be jealous of us.)

Kristin tries to meet up with Audrina to talk face to face and be friends, bury the hatchet so to speak. Audrina blows her off and Lo has a nice little lunch to keep the viewers informed about what Kristin is thinking. She is going to go after Justin Bobby.

Audrina thinks that Justin is trying to hang out with Kristin too piss her off. I honestly don't think it has anything to do with her. Audrina is self obsessed and believes in the girl code. Could she be getting dumber? You should hear her talk to this band. I really like your music, I can relate you know relationships and stuff. Uggghh. (Did I mention that I don't like anyone on this show anymore.)

Just when you thought that you couldn't hate Spencer more...enter Enzo. He is an adorable little six year old who lives with their neighbors. The kid loves Spencer and wants to be friends. Heidi thinks that having a kid will make Spencer grow up. (Spencer suggests a cat or a dog, probably a good place to start.) Spencer thinks Heidi is acting crazy, baby crazy. Spencer comes home one day to find Enzo playing his Wii tennis game and eating his cookies. Spencer turns it off mid game and bounces him. He tells him to say goodbye to Heidi forever.

Justin Bobby and Kristin are hooking up at club. He looks totally different. He has shaved, gotten a haircut and put on some suspenders. Audrina is devastated, again. I am beginning to see a pattern. They might actually like each other. They ride on the motorcycle together. Hey, that used to be Audrina's seat!

By the way, sandals are not shoes.

Blair continues to struggle with finding her niche at NYU. She looks for the Masters of the Universe Society. She finds them; nerds that love Skeletor, Heman, and Shera. Unfortunately these were not the Wallstreet types she had hoped to find. She is longing for the days of Constance and gets a little desperate. She is all to willing to go back to Constance and have 15 year old girls worship her again. In the end Chuck and Jenny work hard to snap her out of this. Chuck uses a little "do you know who I am logic" on her. How could she not know how amazing she is when she scored a prize like the love of Chuck? Chuck also had a photographer take a picture of her and say "aren't you Blair Waldorf? Blair gathers all of those like her, ladies from private schools who are at NYU and did not go Ivy, to try to rule the school.

Dan meets a new lady friend. Hillary Duff is the star of movies akin to the Twilight Series. Dan, of course, has never heard of them. Nate tries to explain them; it's King Arthur with Vampires and she plays a hot Guinevere. (When will this happen in real life. I am already a fan.) When Dan stumbles upon her he is completely clueless. She loves this and relishes being a regular NYU student dating a boy. Dan loves what a regular girl she is and tells her he loves how much less complicated it is than when he dated his ex. She is Vanessa's new roommate and she has to work one night (read go to a premier of a new movie). This is where Dan will figure out who she really is. Will they be able to make it work? Will Duff continue to be on Gossip Girl? I predict two more episodes...maximum. Otherwise I might not be able to stand it.

This episode also marks the return of Lily. Rufus and Serena have been practicing the moment when Serena will tell Lily she is no longer going to attend Brown. She is less than thrilled. Serena tries to get a job in fashion to show that she can be productive and responsible. Unfortunately no one will will hire her. In steps a PR woman who manages Duff and a horribly tempermental diva, Tyra. Tyra is looking very skinny these days which is accentuated by her giant head and hair. She plays an insecure actress (insert your own joke here...too easy). The PR lady is trying to use Serena and puts her in an awkward position. Serena does the right thing and gets fired. In the end Tyra turns out to be pretty nice and lobbies for Serena to get her job back. Will this be what she does this entire season? (I want to get back to the Carter plot which was disappointingly absent from this episode. I am still intrigued.)

Also back this episode Jenny and Eric. Jenny is excited to live out her days at Constance free of suppression. In the beginning she has moving little speech allowing her subjects to live free from headbands and hierarchy. Unfortunately they don't want to be free and call in Blair to restore order. Jenny eventually has to take back the throne so that no one else will. Chuck also helps her to see that this is what she was meant to do. (Chuck was so full of logic in this episode and reference Dumbo.)

This episode ends with Vanessa calling Scott to say how much she misses him. Unfortunately he is due to meet up with Georgina.

Next episode; Rufus and Lily are going to get married, Georgina is after Dan and will be exposing the truth of Scott's secret or at least threatening to. I do not like Georgina. There are starting to be too many extra people for me to keep track of.

It's on

The Hills and The City returned last week with little to no fanfare. Maybe it is because I am such a busy person that I haven't had much time to watch MTV but I really think that it has something to do with the fact that things are looking less than interesting. They have added some new characters to try and spice things up but truthfully things aren't looking so good.

THE HILLS



Is it just me or do you hate Kristin Cavallari, too. There is something about a girl with a raspy voice like that makes me think she is trashy. Maybe I am still bitter about LC being gone. The Hills begins with a little reminiscing. Remember how Brody and LC met? Well, Kristin slapped LC on the street in front of a bar (this is also the plot of an episode of Cops isn't it.) Heidi and Spencer throw themselves a welcome home party. Moments into the party Stephanie and Audrina are in a screaming match with Kristin complete with threats of physical violence and cursing. Here is the shocker. They are fighting over Justin Bobby. It seems inexplicable. Justin Bobby is looking a little bit huskier and even dirtier, if that could be possible. He looks like Joaquin Phoenix in his crazy I am not an actor anymore phase. Speaking of strange looks...



Spencer is dressed like a cowboy (I am using the term loosely here. I have been around cowboys and they don't really dress like that. In fact they would probably laugh at him. ) He and Heidi are house hunting. She wants a homey little place with a picket fence and a room to turn into a nursery. Spencer finds a real modern "porno pad" and puts the deposit down on it. Oops he forgot to tell Heidi. Sweet marriage.

Kristin and Bobby go on a date and seem to have genuine chemistry. They are talking about signs. She is a Capricorn. Did this really happen? Did I time travel? When was it cool to talk about people's signs? Anyway they seem like they are going to hook it up and Audrina is devastated.

Memorable quotes:
"We're married. We're not crazy tequila party people." - Heidi (did she forget the first time she got married to Spencer she was drunk from shots of tequilas.

"As a friend, it's girl code." -Audrina (did she forget that she tried to steal Brody from Jayde. Not girl code.)

"Did that go in?" -Kristin is watching a Laker's game and is unsure if the shot went in. How do you not know if the shot went in when you are watching the game.




THE CITY



Just when I thought Olivia was my most hated The City character enter the two new characters. What happened to the daughter of ACDC? At least Erin was likeable, if not exciting at all. Enter Roxy, she is a "friend" of Whitney's from highschool (she looks about 10 years older, too much makeup? too much hard living? you be the judge.) and a fashion girl from LA. She has an interview with Kelly Cutrone set up by Whitney and unbelievably seems ruder/meaner than Kelly. It hardly seems possible. She tells Kelly that she doesn't like bs or girls. Two things I like about her; 1) She wears all black. My favorite outfit color scheme. 2) She used to work for Rachel Zoe...I love her. "I die.") She doesn't even say she really likes Whitney and is shocked by her sudden love of fashion. Of course that will not stop her from later asking Whitney to let her crash on her couch. She and Kelly also have a talk about her sign. She is clearly going to be another anti-Whitney. Also she has a voice like you would expect someone who is named Roxy would.

Whitney is a sucker as usual. She is unable to say no to Roxy's crash on my couch request and then has to talk to the cops when Roxy throws a loud party at her new place that she "didn't send out a mass text to invite people to." She is also trying to start her line and working part time for Kelly Cutrone. No more DVF.

Olivia is up to her same ridiculousness. She is offered a job by Joe Zee(remember she duped him last season into believing she pulled the look that Whitney did) at Elle as an accessories editor. Showing himself as a terrible judge of character and personal interactions he then introduces her to her new boss. He thinks that they will like each other. He is very wrong. This new boss has a very angular face.



Erin Kaplan is not a fan of Olivia and asks her to help pull some affordable summer looks for the Today show. She does a poor job and when Erin calls her on it she yells at her. "If you have a problem you can go back and do it yourself." The big boss at Elle is really unimpressed.

Look forward to two seasons of yelling and fighting on both the Hills and the City. I don't really like it. I don't even know who to root for anymore.