It's on

The Hills and The City returned last week with little to no fanfare. Maybe it is because I am such a busy person that I haven't had much time to watch MTV but I really think that it has something to do with the fact that things are looking less than interesting. They have added some new characters to try and spice things up but truthfully things aren't looking so good.

THE HILLS



Is it just me or do you hate Kristin Cavallari, too. There is something about a girl with a raspy voice like that makes me think she is trashy. Maybe I am still bitter about LC being gone. The Hills begins with a little reminiscing. Remember how Brody and LC met? Well, Kristin slapped LC on the street in front of a bar (this is also the plot of an episode of Cops isn't it.) Heidi and Spencer throw themselves a welcome home party. Moments into the party Stephanie and Audrina are in a screaming match with Kristin complete with threats of physical violence and cursing. Here is the shocker. They are fighting over Justin Bobby. It seems inexplicable. Justin Bobby is looking a little bit huskier and even dirtier, if that could be possible. He looks like Joaquin Phoenix in his crazy I am not an actor anymore phase. Speaking of strange looks...



Spencer is dressed like a cowboy (I am using the term loosely here. I have been around cowboys and they don't really dress like that. In fact they would probably laugh at him. ) He and Heidi are house hunting. She wants a homey little place with a picket fence and a room to turn into a nursery. Spencer finds a real modern "porno pad" and puts the deposit down on it. Oops he forgot to tell Heidi. Sweet marriage.

Kristin and Bobby go on a date and seem to have genuine chemistry. They are talking about signs. She is a Capricorn. Did this really happen? Did I time travel? When was it cool to talk about people's signs? Anyway they seem like they are going to hook it up and Audrina is devastated.

Memorable quotes:
"We're married. We're not crazy tequila party people." - Heidi (did she forget the first time she got married to Spencer she was drunk from shots of tequilas.

"As a friend, it's girl code." -Audrina (did she forget that she tried to steal Brody from Jayde. Not girl code.)

"Did that go in?" -Kristin is watching a Laker's game and is unsure if the shot went in. How do you not know if the shot went in when you are watching the game.




THE CITY



Just when I thought Olivia was my most hated The City character enter the two new characters. What happened to the daughter of ACDC? At least Erin was likeable, if not exciting at all. Enter Roxy, she is a "friend" of Whitney's from highschool (she looks about 10 years older, too much makeup? too much hard living? you be the judge.) and a fashion girl from LA. She has an interview with Kelly Cutrone set up by Whitney and unbelievably seems ruder/meaner than Kelly. It hardly seems possible. She tells Kelly that she doesn't like bs or girls. Two things I like about her; 1) She wears all black. My favorite outfit color scheme. 2) She used to work for Rachel Zoe...I love her. "I die.") She doesn't even say she really likes Whitney and is shocked by her sudden love of fashion. Of course that will not stop her from later asking Whitney to let her crash on her couch. She and Kelly also have a talk about her sign. She is clearly going to be another anti-Whitney. Also she has a voice like you would expect someone who is named Roxy would.

Whitney is a sucker as usual. She is unable to say no to Roxy's crash on my couch request and then has to talk to the cops when Roxy throws a loud party at her new place that she "didn't send out a mass text to invite people to." She is also trying to start her line and working part time for Kelly Cutrone. No more DVF.

Olivia is up to her same ridiculousness. She is offered a job by Joe Zee(remember she duped him last season into believing she pulled the look that Whitney did) at Elle as an accessories editor. Showing himself as a terrible judge of character and personal interactions he then introduces her to her new boss. He thinks that they will like each other. He is very wrong. This new boss has a very angular face.



Erin Kaplan is not a fan of Olivia and asks her to help pull some affordable summer looks for the Today show. She does a poor job and when Erin calls her on it she yells at her. "If you have a problem you can go back and do it yourself." The big boss at Elle is really unimpressed.

Look forward to two seasons of yelling and fighting on both the Hills and the City. I don't really like it. I don't even know who to root for anymore.