NYU? What was I thinking? You know how I feel about ironic facial hair.

Nate is giving Blair a subway riding lesson. She doesn't want to go because it is full of "molemen and middle class professionals." Sounds horrible doesn't it? Nate is starting to freak out about being all the way across the city from Blair. He gets an apartment halfway between both places, in Murray Hill. Gasp!(and to stick it to Chuck). Chuck and Nate are playing basketball and Chuck is dressed in polo shirt, a zippered sweatshirt and an ascot. What? There is friendly banter which leads to a little smack talking and the game begins. Chuck and Nate are competing for Blair and her attention.

Chuck tries to reel her in by involving her in a mystery. The mystery of Gabriel. Is he back together with Poppy Lifton? They have a huge blowup fight and Poppy threatens to make all of his investors back out. Luckily they are at a cocktail party with tons of possible investors. Gabriel says he met Serena long ago, before they were married in Spain, the night that Georgina roofied her. Too bad she can't remember.

Chuck and Blair seek Georgina. She is at some crazy God camp because that was the way out of boot camp. She seems to buy into the Lord. After Blair realizes she has become a pawn in the battle between Chuck and Nate she takes off and leaves Chuck in the woods with the Jesus freaks. Chuck calls a cab and Georgina takes a day off in the city.

Blair is angry with Nate because she realizes the apartment was not for her benefit. It was just to prove that he had won. Nate does not really trust her.

Unfortunately the scheme that Poppy and Gabriel have been cooking is not found out quickly enough to save Rufus from investing in it. He is still trying to come up with that darn Yale tuition.

Turns out Poppy and Gabriel are liars. They are using all this money but we don't know what for. Isn't Poppy an heiress or something akin to that? Next week looks to be a sorting out of this weeks follies.

**Programming note. Dangers of the DVR. I am just now watching this weeks GG on a Wednesday evening. (Unfortunately it is NBA playoff time and one can only fight for the remote so much) You may ask "what of any great importance might have been missed on the CW?" I would normally agree but it is a true tragedy. Nick Lachey was on One Tree Hill. Are you kidding me? I need to get on some kind of Nick Lachey mailing list so I don't miss any of his television work. I am bummed. I think he was playing himself, the best possible character he could play. Damn.

In the Bible it's called fornification

What does this tattoo mean? Audrina is rumored to have this and it seems to have a lot going on.


That's right this week they brought in an even more vapid player. I am still scratching my head and trying to figure out why. Colby and his girlfriend were on vacation in LA. They go on a double date with Spencer and Heidi. It was very strange. Spencer kept asking questions of them like they were from another planet and the girlfriend insulted Heidi by pointing out how different she looked. (I think the insult was the reminder of how she used to look like a human being not that she was ugly before) Spencer and Colby go to a gym to box and then Colby offers to show Spencer some Bible verses. Spencer agrees to this and is condescending/texting for the entire event. It was all too confusing and this episode leaves me wondering what was the point of it all.

Audrina's crash the boys' trip plan really pays off. They drink and sunbathe and drink some more. The culmination of this is when Audrina stays the night in Brody's room. Brody is not proud but honest when debriefing with the boys. "I cheated on my girlfriend." (He is telling Doug, Frankie, and my personal fave, Sleazy T) Did she do this because she has always had a crush on Brody or because she wanted to make JB jealous? A little of both I would wager. I am now adding person with good judgement to Audrina's resume which already included budding physicist and MENSA member. I just am annoyed by the fact that she didn't have any remorse about being a homewrecker. I had a strong reaction to her sluttiness. I mean she ends this episode by saying Jayde should bring it. What is she...I can't think of the proper thing to equate her to...something akin to a girl standing in front of her locker and talking about how she is going to kick someone's ass.



Ghost Whisperer update: Melinda Gordon (JLH's character) is pregnant with Jim's baby. I am very excited about this news which most people who know me can tell you is a really big deal. Babies usually freak me out. (How sad that this made me say to myself: "Wow a lot of people around me are having babies." Umm..don't worry I still have firm hold on the line between fantasy and reality) In Jim news he finally remembers who he is so we usually just see Jim even though he is in Sam's body. Confusing I know but still exciting. Things are falling into place. The only really weird thing is that the Jamie Kennedy/JLH love has created a weird dynamic on the show. Maybe I am imagining it but they have some weird tension. They act strangely around one another, like they are trying too hard to not act like there is something going on.

I always pictured you as the next Hillary...except I'd win

A wordy post.

This episode begins with a mystery. Serena has been gone for quite some time but Chuck saw Poppy Lifton, the socialite she was originally with on her trip, at a bar. What was she doing while gone ?

Blair is very busy ingratiating herself into Nate's family and social life. Nate got in at Columbia on his own but Blair is busy avoiding thinking about college. Her stepfather, Cyrus (anybody want a peanut), offers to get her into NYU and she makes a snide remark about non-ivy, lesbian trying, 8-time-beloved-reading schools. I love her witty remarks about various college stereotypes. They never get old. She is really hoping to be on the Whitney Junior Committee. So Blair makes a deal with the devil. For agreeing to persuade Nate to go to Yale instead of Columbia she gets to be in Nate's cousins wedding and on the committee.

Something strange happened at Nate and his cousins luncheon. It causes Nate to be very angry with Grandfather Vanderbilt and out him at the rehearsal dinner (for turning in Nate's father). What will happen to Blair's big plans? Grandfather tries to get Blair to help him but her conscience wins out in the end. Not before grandfather sells her out, revealing the truth about their deal.

More is revealed about Serena's mysterious trip. She calls Cyrus because she needs a lawyer. Before meeting with him she gets a tongue lashing from Lily who tries to ground her. She immediately leaves.

Dan and Rufus are worried about Dan's tuition. Dan takes a catering job that turns out to be at Blair's moms. They are having Seder dinner. Dan is in the right place at the right time to hear Serena's secret. She accidentally got married in Spain to Poppy's ex. Oops. Funny enough Rufus ends up as a guest where Dan is working. Small world. Even funnier Serena's husband turns up at the dinner. Serena works hard to get rid of him by talking about how in love Dan she is with Dan but then Eleanor turns up to invite him.

The Seder is very awkward with all the lying and confusion. Is Dan a waiter or a guest? Is he Serena's almost brother or boyfriend? Finally Gabriel leaves and Serena goes after him to find the truth. She was not married and they are going to give dating a go. Also, Serena got into Brown. Go Bears!


Could Blair be anymore tragic? Now Nate is through with her. What will she do? Nate and Chuck get together and commiserate about Blair or their tragic lives. I can't be sure which. Chuck finally apologizes for whatever he did to Jenny Humphry, I can't really remember. I know it was bad.

This episode ends with Nate forgiving Blair and asking Cyrus to get her into NYU. Is she going to get boring? She is changing and not for the better.

OMG one last twist. Poppy and Gabriel have something still going on. She asks him to tell her everything. Are they setting Serena up for something sinister? What is happening?

I love him but I don't know if I am in love with him

Disclaimer. This picture is almost too gross for me to look at. He creeps me out.

This episode marks the long awaited return of Justin Bobby. He was "acting all shady" at Coco DeVille. Stephanie Pratt, ever the relationship Pollyana says that maybe they can be friends. JB wants to communicate (and asks her not to burp him when she is patting him on the back, weird) but Audrina wants to feel special. Dilemma.

Audrina is then comforted by Brody. His girlfriend, Jayde, is suspicious. Jayde decides that she will put her collagen injected lips all over Brody to mark her territory. Brody then tries to council JB at another bar later in the week. Audrina is making weird eyes at Brody and something is brewing. Audrina wants him...she wants to crash the Hawaii vacation that Brody and co. are planning but not a anything serious "expecially" (just to be clear that is Audrina verbiage, not my own) not a boyfriend. LC, Lo and Audrina are going to Hawaii.

Sleazy T cameo. Oh I love him. If you aren't familiar with his work check out Bromance.

It is finally dawning on Spencer that Heidi is serious about therapy. Brody calls and invites him to Hawaii for the all-dude-surf-trip. Spencer lies to keep out of trouble. He is fake in Vegas. The therapist seems nice. The first thing she says is "this sounds all really high school to me." Heidi accuses Spencer of being checked out and the therapist asks what she is still doing in the relationship. Wow heavy hitter. She is asking the tough questions after 2 minutes (magic of tv?)

LC is feeling the heat of helping to hire Stephanie. It is very apparent that she is too dumb for this job. She can't check in jewelry on the computer or fold things without leaving crumbs. I can't wait to see Kelly Cutrone destroy her.



I enjoyed the MTV movie awards promo that introduces Andy Samberg as the host of the show this year. He is introduced as the spawn of Jack Black and Michael Cera. Funny. I could see him as a cross between the two. I love Michael Cera.

I didn't know you had these sides to you

This is a quick and dirty run down. Everyone annoyed me this episode.

Kelly Cutrone tells Lauren they need a new intern. She tells her to be very careful about who she refers and then she refers Stephanie Pratt anyway. Stephanie acts unbelievably stupid in her interview and Kelly Cutrone makes fun of her but hires her anyway (she is no fool. this is free pr for her company). She brings a resume and writes her life goal as her objective. She wants to be a handbag designer. Good for her.

Heidi returns from Colorado and she an Spencer are still fighting. Spencer asks about "his favorite person Darlene" (very sarcastically) and turns it around on Heidi again. How could she see Colby? He also blatantly lies about seeing Stacy the bartender when she was away. He can't believe she is even asking him about this right now.

Charlie, Spencer's new hired friend, and Spencer are driving and dancing in the car to HWood. Spencer knows that this is a place where Stacy and her friends hang out. Stephanie uses her extensive club knowledge to figure out where Spencer might be. Heidi comes in guns blazing. "What the f are you doing?" Charlie tries to jump in and gets a finger in his face and yelled at by both girls. Stephanie plays the part of friend calling Stacy a slut, homewrecker, and asking if she even has any pants. I like that a lot.

The next day Heidi and Spencer meet for lunch. Heidi was humiliated. Spencer is smarmy and pissed off. "She couldn't even be closer to you if you tried. I'm done with you. I'm done wit this." She doesn't want to look at, talk to, or be near him. She is very convincing. Heidi provides Spencer with an ultimatum; either go to therapy or they are done.

Everything happens for a reason

HAPPY EASTER!
Could my life get any better? It is spring break and last night was the premier of the final season of the Hills. Two episodes; starting with the episode where Spencer punches someone in the face. Sweet.

The episode begins with LC's birthday. The girls decide to throw her a surprise party on a boat. Cruise around, drink, and gamble. What could go wrong? Heidi. Stephanie, ever the incendiary, talks Heidi into crashing the party. So now they are all trapped on the boat. Heidi is again working hard to have an awkward confrontation with Lauren. It is less distressing then other times that this has happened but Lauren held her ground with the, I miss you, but I hate Spencer.

Meanwhile, Spencer is having guys night with his mustachioed friend. (I believe it was someone hired off the street. Who would choose to be friends with Spencer?) The boys head to a bar and is hitting on the cute bartendress. Cameron, Stephanie's ex, shows up and Spencer is rude to him (surprise, surprise). Cameron texts Stephanie with the news about Spencer's flirting. Stephanie tells Heidi and Heidi calls Spencer. Spencer is incensed. He was not flirting. Can't a guy buy a girl some shots and ask her about what it might take to get her dancing on the bar. (Incidentally, it is "Pour some sugar on me." Predictable. I will add that to my list of songs drunk, white people like to sing along with. Other songs; Benny and the Jets, Journey songs) Spencer wants to talk to Cameron. He gets in Cameron's face and is asking for him to "touch him." He wants an excuse to hit him. Then decides he doesn't need it and sucker punches him in the face. Unfortunately, Cameron does not stand up for himself and people break it up before any fists can connect with Spencer's face.

Heidi, is in hysterics and is "leaving." At this point, I secretly hope that she will jump off the boat. No such luck. Instead she and LC have another weird crying talk. The best times of Heidi's life were with Lauren. She misses her so much. It seems confusing because I thought that she was upset about Spencer. LC takes this opportunity to take a few more digs at Spencer. He is a bad guy and mean. Heidi seems only half listening and conveniently does not hear the Spencer criticism.

LC, Audrina, and Lo have a debrief about the party. It was fun but LC was not a fan of being trapped on the boat with Heidi.

Next Episode:

The next day Heidi goes to the bar to talk to the bartender. She says that if she was in Heidi's position she would be mad.

Spencer is upset that Stephanie would tell Heidi about his alleged flirting. How dare you "show someone a text message without checking with me first?" Stephanie tells Spencer he is so obsessed with loyalty he will end up alone.

Heidi confronts Spencer and then packs her bags to go home to Colorado. Spencer tries his usual make her seem crazy and turn it around on her. He is upset with her for making him always be by her side and not letting him go out more often. Can't she see that it is all her fault? He also does not remember asking the cute bartender about dancing on the bar. Can she prove it. I wish she would run down to the MTV video trailer and demand to see the video.

Spencer calls Brody to get some advice. Brody says that if she went to Colorado all bets are off. Go out with the guys and see what else is out there.

Heidi is in Colorado receiving advice about Spencer from her mother. She runs into her high school boyfriend, Colby. Mom is sure that this is happening for a reason. The reason being Spencer is an awful human being.

Spencer heads back to the bar and flirts with the bartender some more. She calls Heidi crazy and asks Spencer what will happen next. They are planning to go on a date.

LC and Brody are shocked by the strange reality that they have stepped into. Heidi and Spencer now need LC and Brody after they were jerks to them. How strange.

Look forward to a season of crazy. LC getting a job at People's Revolution for Stephanie, (I know Kelly Cutrone is going to love Stephanie) Spencer and Heidi getting married again (maybe it will take this time), and Brody and Audrina hooking up (What happened to Justin Bobby and the gross ring that came out of his mouth and went on Audrina's finger at the end of last season.)

One other MTV item of note. I was having a wonderful visit (catching up on the gossip) with one of my great friends and we left the tv on while "Taking the Stage" was on. This is a show about kids who go to the school for Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinatti. The kids were getting ready for a performance. The teacher in charge reminded them that they needed to be ready because a lot of "Cincinatti Dignitaries" would be there. This phrase really stood out to me and I wondered who on earth they could possibly mean.

That's right. You guessed it, my favorite and yours, Nick Lachey. I love him. He was just going to support the kids. He is an alum of this school. What a great guy.


GOSSIP GIRL: Programming note. No new GG until April 20th. Are they on Spring Break too? What is wrong with you CW?

Something that needs to be said

This is a departure from my regular posts. I just need to get this out there so that I will feel better. If you are someone who is/was a graduate of Columbia you should be calling for the university to revoke the degree of Kelly Kiloren Bensimone. She is a horrible imposter. Most recently, on the Real Housewives of New York City, she called a young girl's rheumatoid arthritis "cute" and bragged about how proper and polite she was as she rolled in to confront someone 30 minutes late. She also dresses like she is much younger than she actually is (pink rain boots on a 40 year old woman?) and looks much older than she actually is (she is a reminder to wear a high spf). She was also arrested for assaulting her boyfriend. Sucker punch to the face. Wow. She is all class. Kelly refuses to just let anyone use her name for charity. And she is so busy what with all the writing she does. She was the accessories editor at Marie Claire, I mean Elle after all. I have not had this much distaste for a reality show character since last season on the Hills (Spencer). I also feel like watching her and her crew makes my IQ go down. This trash coupled with a few minutes of American Idol and that terrible show with the Osbournes (don't ask ExPats it is too horrible for words) I could scarcely form sentences. I had to switch the channel to MSNBC to regain my will to live.